Log in Register
Search Online

Find a date in a small town

Back to Dating Articles

If you live in a small town, you know how hard dating can be. Not only do you have to worry about where you can take a date, but at the same time there are not too many people in your area to ask out. But before you start to get discouraged with your small town, you should look into the situation as a whole. Chances are that even though there are some drawbacks of small town dating, you can also find some benefits as well. And when you find the benefits of dating in a small town you will have a much better chance for success in the end.


Finding a Date

One of the biggest problems that small town residents run into is finding a date. Sure, some small towns are right next door to big cities, but this is not always the case. And if you live in a town with only a few thousand people, it can be difficult to find a date. After all, not everybody in the town is single, and even if they are they may not be your type. So at this point you need to look into a solution to this problem before you go out of your mind.


Obviously, the first thing that you will want to do is search for a date in your town. Even if there are not too many options, you never know who you are going to find. If this does not work out for you, remember that online dating is always an option. This way you can find people in your area who are looking for a date, as well as people in a surrounding town.

Below are some useful tips which can help you in finding a solution to dating in small in towns.



Start meeting people everywhere!


It's simple: To meet people, you've got to be around people to meet. In a small town, if you play it "convenient"-order takeout, shop or pay bills online-and stay cloistered in your home, you'll never meet anyone new. If you actually make the trip to the post office or the bank, you could strike up a conversation with someone behind you in line with a simple question: "Wow, is it usually this busy on a Wednesday afternoon?" If you live close enough to walk, you might spot someone doing yard work-try asking "Those flowers you're planting are beautiful; what are they?"

Moving at-home activities to public places is another great way to create opportunity-read your book at the local diner or coffee shop, or volunteer to walk a friend's dog one day. The more time you spend outside your abode, the more people you'll be exposed to, period.



Lay on the charm for everyone

Offer to help an elderly lady carry her groceries to the car.

Tell your dentist the color blue looks fabulous on him.

Ask your waitress what she likes to do for fun on her day off. Not because you want to date any of these people, but because you never know who might have a cute grandson, niece, or friend who's single-establish a little friendly rapport and they'll be more than happy to play matchmaker. Just keep an eye out for an opportunity to make it known that you're single and looking: If, say, the aforementioned old lady dubs you a gentleman for all your help, tell her, "Thank you for the compliment; I wish good manners meant more dates, but it doesn't seem to work that way."



Remember there's no such thing as "nothing to do"

Chances are good that there aren't many four-star restaurants in your area, and that's not a bad thing - it just means you've got to be more creative when planning dates. "Good dates in small towns? Competition always takes the pressure off. Miniature golf or bowling are pretty easy to break the ice, and even if you're not good at it, it's still fun," says Nici Reeg from Dubuque, IA. "There are usually facilities even in small towns. The best first date I've ever been on was a motorcycle ride. Way fun!"

Other good ideas? Get active by borrowing a friend's canoe or heading out on mountain bikes. Find out about local bands, festivals, or other events by perusing your community paper's local calendar for ideas. Added bonus: Dates where you're doing something (biking, hiking, sightseeing) take the pressure off you to fill every awkward silence. Now get out there and have fun!



Embrace your place

Any town, big or small, has its share of frustrations for its residents. But whether you're on a date or just chatting with someone at the hardware store, try to keep your more negative views to yourself, whether that's "this place is so boring," "I don't know why I live here," or "I'm going to move as soon as ______." Negative people are rarely date-magnets, so instead focus on the positive with small talk like, "I have great neighbors," "being near my family is important," or "did you know this town is home to the world's oldest/largest/best ____?" Or, put that upbeat outlook into action by participating in programs that help better the town, such as a park cleanup, soup kitchen, church choir, or historic preservation effort. People are drawn to those who spread goodwill (and who knows, maybe you'll hit it off with some cute do-gooder in the trenches next to you).



Be honest - you are judged

Gossip often travels at warp speed in a small town, so don't ever assume you can act like a chump with a date and it won't come back to haunt you, because trust us, it will. "Small-town people tend to judge you on your dating resume," says Brittney Cason of Harrisonburg, VA. "Even if you don't know what you're doing, someone else does." Since others are taking note of your activities, be honest in your romantic-and business-dealings. If you owe someone money, pay them back. If you don't want to see someone anymore, tell them so rather than avoiding their calls until they get the hint. Don't tell a friend about your date's bizarre sexual fantasies unless you're prepared for this tidbit to travel through the grapevine all the way back to the source. Not only are these common acts of courtesy the right way to treat people, they're absolutely crucial if you ever want to date anyone in your town again.

Overall, dating in a small town can be difficult. Luckily, it is not a lost cause.

Viewed 911 times | Back to Dating Articles

Older articles:

Back to the Dating Articles page |